The World According to Cara

Now, I don't have a fancy degree in philosophy or whatever to formally prove that I even know what the term means so I shall simply quote the most unbiased definition I can find.

Materialism: A great or excessive regard for worldly concerns. (Armstrong, 1968)

In that case, I admit, and I'm not quite ashamed of it too, I am a materialist. I take fancy in clothes, shoes, gadgets and even the simplest of things such as pens and colored paper (don't ask). For instance, I can't imagine a week going by without acquiring at least one new item. It can be anything just as long as it's new and it's an item. Haha. That's me. Now, I wasn't always like this. There was a time when I looked very lowly at these "materialists" and found other avenues to explore rather than to indulge in such a state. Little did I know that years later, I'd be whom I dreaded too. This got me wondering, if I hated it so much, then why am I who I turned out to be now-- a shallow shoe-loving teenager.

I'd hate to get so personal on the very first post but I'm down to my nth sentence, there's no turning back now. So, who exactly was I before being this? I reckon being the baby of the family, the center of attention, the effortlessly smart one, the musical prodigy, and the sliiight overweight (just kidding, I was probably 50lbs. above normal weight). But suddenly, I felt every single one of those disappear. I got a new sister when I was nine. Needless to say, goodbye attention. Luckily, my dear grandma was there to prove that thought wrong-- I was still her "baby" no matter what... and then she died. Again, goodbye attention. Now, I found myself trying to excel in academics and piano-playing to hold on to what little recognition I could still get. It worked for a bit until I realized that none of them cared about these. To make matters worse, fast forward to college, I was bitch slapped with the realization that those two remaining "expertise" were long gone already. Who was I kidding? I'm no longer the consistent honor student that I used to be and my God, I couldn't even enter the school orchestra. What more wake-up call did I need?

Then I also, in the process, noticed that I was no longer the awkward twelve-year-old that I used to be. Clothes from racks could actually fit me already, I lost all my icky-yucky pimples, and every so often, I'd even get second glances. So why waste it right? I had nothing left. I lost all my assets. I needed a self-esteem boost. And so... I embraced the material world. Hm, I guess that makes me the living and breathing proof that Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs is indeed true. Physiological needs go at the very bottom. Anyway, enough of that.

Nowadays, I find myself getting further sucked in this materialism but I don't think of it much as a choice. I feel like, this is the only option that remains and I should just take it. The way my life has turned out, it's like the only thing, no pun intended, that doesn't let me down. Everything else has. So, a great lot of you may say that materialism is bad? I say, it's what keeps me holding on.

Until the next post,

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